Your Favorite White Boy

As you may have heard, Lil Wayne is looking at up to a 15 year government-sponsored visit vacation from a 2007 arrest in New York on a gun possession charge.   Now that kind of time is serious;  and the stress level for Wayne, his YM hangers on and various weed carriers must be incredible.  But its important in this kind of environment to stay positive.  So, YFWB presents a few silver linings for Wayne if the judge comes down on the wrong side:

1. Free Tattoos

We all know that Weezy likes the “body art”. Good news: jailhouse tats are free and in some jurisdictions facilitated by the state Corrections Department. You’ll have over a decade to get some real intricate artwork done up. Think of the murals you can have drawn on your back. When you run out of room, there’s always the back of your thighs. I’d stay away from the buttock area – you don’t want to attract any more attention there than you’ll already have.

2. No Rebirth or T-Wayne

Admittedly, this is more of a silver lining for me, but it could work out well for you as well. I think its safe to say the rock album idea came out of a long night of too much syrup, but its hard to climb down once you’ve announced it to the world. Rather than have your label cut you off at the knees and refuse to drop your album, you can use your incarceration as a convenient excuse. Everybody wins. Especially me. Isn’t that what’s important?

3. He’ll Finally Get The Help He Needs

Even Weezy admits that he has a problem with the syrup. If he does time, he’ll finally have a chance to dry out. Unfortunately, he’ll probably pick up a heroin or crack addiction instead.  Of course, some of the greatest artists in the world did their most inspired work when using hard drugs. Maybe you can use that time to build up a serious dependency and bang out a classic album.  Got anything else to do?

4. Let Your Catalog Work For You

Wayne has recorded so much material, he’ll probably outlast Tupac. Why not use this time off to kick your feet back, relax for 23 hours a day and let your label share Tha Carter IV through  XI with the world? Let your music work for you. You can spend the next 15 years keeping your name in the streets.  That way, you can stay relevant and start up your career again.  I mean, you’ll only be 28 when you get out anyway.

Tags: Humor, Lil Wayne, Trial